Like me

Emma likes to be like me.


She loves to wear my boots.
And my shoes.

But only the "good" ones.

The dress-up ones.


They gotta be pretty.

She's proud of the fact that she is six and missing her two front teeth,
and when I was six, I too was missing my two front teeth.

She got a comb Barbie comb stuck in her hair today
and she was afraid to tell me,

probably because when she cut her own hair,
I went a little ballistic.


But I told her,
"It's okay,
when I was little I did the same thing."

She looked at me,
eyes twinkling,
and said,
"We're just the same!"

The real truth is, though,
that we are very different.

Emma is very dramatic.

And she loooves attention.

Being on stage in front of a bunch of people?

She's in her glory.

I, on the other hand,
would hate it.

She is very much a people person.
Everywhere she goes she makes a friend.

She is a social butterfly.

I am not.

I do not make friends easily.

I like the way she is.

She is sweetness and light.
Sunshine and flowers.

I like that she's different from me.





And I like that she likes to be like me.











SMOKING UPDATE:
Driven to Quit Challenge


Well, this is the last night.

I'm sucking 'em back.

Tomorrow I will be a non-smoker.

I can't wait to be free of them.


The kids know,
and are aware that Mommy will be a little testy.

It's more the brain fog I am dreading.

2010 Ford Escape, (and healthy lungs)
here I come!!

Smoker No More

I am a smoker.

But I soon will not be.


Feb. 28 2010 will be my last day spent on this dirty, gross habit.

Because this is a dirty topic, I have to post some cute pictures to balance that.

It shouldn't be too hard,
I've quit a kajillion times before.

But, I always seem to go back.

In my head, smoking helps me cope.

Calms me down when I am stressed.

Gives me a break time, to sit and have a smoke.

Now, I know this is not true.

Smoking actually raises cortisol,
the stress hormone,
and actually stresses you out more.


This I know, and understand.

I want to quit because of her.
And the rest of them.

And also because there are waaaay better things to spend my money on.

Like Mexico.

A horse barn.




And in winter I have a chronic cough.
"Smokers Cough."

Not sure why it goes away in the summer.

But all winter I struggle to breathe,
and I cough. And hack.

It's not pretty.

I am posting this on here, 'cause I think it will keep me accountable.

Every day I will do an update on my journey to be a non-smoker.


If my posts are a little crabbier, you'll know why.

One day left!!

Guilty

Being a home-schooling Mom is hard.

You don't send your kids away for the day....

in short,
they are always with you.


You don't get a break.




Living alone with four kids makes it even worse.

You are always on call,
You. Are. It.

What does this have to do with guilt, you ask?

Well, you may not ask, but I'm agoin' to tell you.

I've been staying up way too late at night.

This makes me tired and cranky the next day.
It's hard for me to get going,
so not as much gets done.

I know I should go to bed.

I know I'm dumb.

And every morning I say to myself,
"That was stupid. Tonight you're going to bed early, dumbass."

So the next night, I finally get the kids in bed,
and I finally have peace.

And quiet.

And I can do what I want.

And I enjoy myself so much I don't go to bed.


And the cycle continues.

Self discipline is a tricky thing.

I always went to bed an hour or two after the kids.

But now it's more like three, or maybe four.



I have lapsed in the self discipline department.

And of course, not only am I overtired, but I feel guilty too.

For being tired.

'Cause it's my own stupid fault.

So.

I am writing this to say,

I am going the heck to bed.

I am sick of being tired,
and feeling guilty.

I will relish my peace for two hours at the most.

Then, bedtime for me.

That means I only have half an hour,
so I have to go if I want to read any of my book.

Good-night!!

Fun in the Sun Part Duh

Duh, because I totally forgot about part2!


How silly of me.


So, as we huddle down to endure another winter storm,
(I am so tired of winter)
Here's some nice sunny day pictures.




Cast of Characters:
Quin
Nate
Emma
Ava
Daddy
Uncle Billy
Kiersten
Grandpa
Mr.Lips





On with the show.

Ava loves going for a ride in Uncle Johns chair lift.
So of course,
Grandpa obliges her.

Then, Kiersten and Ava go with Uncle Billy
to build a snowman.

They are the official supervisors.
You can see Ava, checking out his work.

Then Emma shows up, and helps do some quality control.
She's filling in any holes.

Kiersten and Ava, knowing that Emma will take over supervising,
take a well deserved break on the swings.

And Emma doesn't disappoint.
She's keeping her eye on the job.

Quin starts the head.

Emma, the best quality control person ever.

No holes in this snowman!

The head is getting bigger....

Ava decides nobody can do the job as well as she can,
and comes to check the progress.

Looks like the whole crew is working hard.

Mr. Lips is about to get his head!

Break time again.

Down to one man working, the other watching.
Sounds like a construction crew.

Ava comes back to rectify the situation.

Official Inspection.

Adding some last minute details.

There!
The crew poses, for posterity.

Ava, however, is still obsessed with quality.
Gotta fill those last holes!!

There.

Got it.
The whole crew.

Kiersten's keeping an eye on Nate...
I don't blame her.

Muwaaaahhh!

My Family.

We're huge.


As in, there is a lot of us.



See?

There are many good things about being born into a large family.

You always have someone to talk to.
Family gatherings are crazy. And fun.
There's lots of help for babysitting,
building and cleaning chimneys,
and such.


It basically means your support system is huge.
Always somebody ready to help.




It's also hard.

There is a lot of responsibilty,
especially if you are one of the older ones.




Because Mom was sick through her pregnancies,
and nearly died with two of them,
the children had to step up.

I could bake cookies at 6.

I was changing diapers at 8.

I could run the house by 12.




But you know what?
I got a crazy amount of babysitting jobs,
and a full time job as a nanny when I was 17.




It also gave me the skills to run my own house.

Having my first baby was not scary.

I pretty much knew what to expect.







Being in a large family is also hard for those who crave attention.


Why?

'Cause there was 12 kids and only two parents.

The logistics of the thing just doesn't work out.





And here's the thing.

Our Mother is one of the best.

She gave (gives) everything she had (has) to her children.

Her life's work is us.


Not a "career."

Us.

And motherhood can be a pretty thankless job, sometimes.







Here's the way I look at it.


God chose for me to be born into the family I was.




Crazy as they are.





And because I know that He wants what is best for me,
I know that this is what's best.



I learned a lot of hard lessons.


I learned responsibility,
and that I am not the center of the universe.

A valuable lesson.






Did I resent all the responsibility and work sometimes?


Of course.




But which one of my siblings would I send back?

None.




I love them all.





Basically it comes down to this.





Despite how hard it is,
I wouldn't trade my family for any other.

Remember, everybody's family is crazy.

Vintage Monday

Okay, so it's not really that vintage.

This takes place late August, 2007.


We went on a road trip.


Destination?

Quebec, then on to Maine, USA.



Ava was 2 months old.
Emma was 3, Nate 5, and Quin 7.



We went with Mom, in her big van.
There were 12 of us in there.

Plus, all the supplies, clothes etc. for two weeks away.

We were going to camp in Quebec, so we were also towing a trailer.

See the green tub?
There was two of them, one Mom's, one mine.

Mine was full of all the clothes and diapers we would need.

I don't know what Mom had in hers.

I think food?

Anyway, we took out one of the rows of seats in her van,
and strapped these huge containers in.

It's good thing Pat was shorter then.

It was cramped.

Linda sat in the middle of the first row, 'cause she has super long legs.
If you peek behind her, you can just see Ava's carseat.

Linda did a good job entertaining her,
and taught her to stick out her tongue.

Adeena and Jeff and their kids came as well, and they brought Trenton.

They were cramped too.

And also towing a trailer.

The driver.

I was the official navigator, and main map reader.
And also the Jeffie checker.

Looking to make sure they were still behind us,
as a big Rambler blocked Mom's view.

Aahhhh, the Open Road!

As is expected while traveling with so many kids,
there were a lot of pit stops.

At this one, we had all the kids stand on the guardrail for a picture.

My Mom's family lives in the Quebec/Ottawa area, so this trip was not foreign to us.

One place we always stop is the Big Apple.


I don't remember when we first did it, but now we never drive by.


It seems to be the perfect distance for a pit-stop.

The bathrooms are large, and mostly clean.
There are snacks and drinks for sale.

There is a mini petting zoo,
and wild bunnies all over the place!!

If you catch one, they say you can keep it.

Many kids try, but never succeed.

And it has.....




A Big Apple!!

You can climb up inside, and look out the top.

It's kind of a mini museum devoted to apples,
full of many interesting facts.


So, it's educational as well as fun.

Perfect stop for homeschoolers.

And there's this.

This was one of my favourite things.

It's a signpost, that gives the distance and direction from this spot
to many different places around the world.

Totally awesome.

These pics were taken with my crappy old camera,
so I'm not sure it will be clear if you enlarge it.

But give it a try.

That's it for today!

More next week.




Editors Note:
Fun in the sun will be continued tomorrow.