It’s a new day

Sorry for the crap yesterday.


I sit down to blog and what I’m feeling just comes pouring out.

I guess it’s like therapy…
but maybe yesterday’s was a little too raw.



I’m better today.

The kids are feeling better.








I’ve figured out I suck at relationships.


And women are supposed to be good at them.

But not me… I am crappy.






I have always held myself to a very high standard, I don’t see why I can’t be perfect at everything I do.

I’ve learned, in regards to myself, to give me some slack.

It was either that or have a nervous breakdown.

Something had to give, and I had to learn that I can’t be perfect.








But, it seems that same high standard for perfection has carried over into other relationships.

I hammer those who aren’t living up to my standards for them.
To my thoughts of how they should be.




It was quite eye-opening to realize how hard I am on the people I love.



I am a broken, failing, weak, doubting woman.


Not at all who I want to be.






So yesterday I was disgusted with myself.
And with my actions, and words.






And then God sent me an e-mail this morning.
It wasn’t directly from God, but He made sure I got it.
It was encouraging.




I’m going to share it here, in the hope that it might encourage some of you.








Here it is.

Philippians 1:4-6 (NIV) "In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."


It took four years of fresco painting for the Italian Renaissance sculptor, painter, architect, and poet Michelangelo di Lodovico Buonarroti Simoni, commonly known as Michelangelo, to finish the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. Most of his time painting was spent alone, on his back, lying on scaffolding. (How painful!) The painting on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel is one of the most remarkable in the history of Western art. One thing is for sure: the process that altered a ceiling from plain to fabulous required a lot of time, great discipline, and the hand of a master artist.
There are many days that I wish God's work in my life was complete - days when I frustrate myself by choosing weak self-living over powerful Spirit-living - days when I'm undisciplined and in great need of heart fixing, fully aware that God's work in me is unfinished.
I long to be the woman God intends for me to be, yet know that I'm not there yet. It grieves my heart. Have you ever felt that way? Do you ever long to be farther along in your sanctification process than you are? The journey from broken into beautiful is a lifelong transformation that requires both spiritual discipline and a Master Artist.
As Michelangelo was working, I'm sure many people came through the corridors of the chapel and stood in amazement. As they looked up at the beauty of his work, I bet they said things like, "That is the most fantastic work of art I have ever seen!" or "Extraordinary!" To which he might have said, "It's not done!" But did the unfinished state of the project negate that parts of the ceiling were beautiful? No! The completed parts were still extravagant and breathtaking.
Maybe this is the way God and others see our lives. It's common for people to notice the work God has done in us and comment on the beauty. And even though compliments are nice to hear, I've been known to resist them. (Admit it, you probably have, too.) It's not so much a humility thing as it is an "I-don't-see-myself-as-beautiful" thing. From my limited perspective, I can only see the unfinished work, but in truth, my vantage point doesn't negate the beauty of the work God has done and is doing in my life. Real beauty isn't about a finished or flawless product. It can't be. It's not possible on this side of eternity to have completed beauty. Our restoration will be complete in the presence of God when we see Him face to face.
Here's an exciting word for today: God loves you right where you are even though you are an unfinished work. Nothing you can do or say could make Him love you more or less. When you are His child, Scripture tells us that nothing can separate you from His love (Romans 8:38-39). He loves you with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3). He's not done with you yet, so hang on and lean in. Press on and keep seeking Him! Be encouraged, friend. You're in good hands when you are in the hands of God, the Master Artist. Philippians 1:5-6 (NIV) "...being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."

In all my brokeness and failing, God loves me.
And He will complete the work He started.
Amen to that.